Is it wrong, to hope for something that may not exist? that may never happen, but all this time you keep hoping like you knew that it is happening, you just can't see it but you can feel it. and that feeling is strong. like you can feel happy just thinking about it, like one day it may just come true and all you need to do is just keep holding on and not give up? is it a weakness or a strength? strength to have a positive mindset. or am i being delusional? i hate thinking that i'm the latter. i want to at least for once feel like my instinct is correct. so i can feel proud of myself to keep staying strong and continue believing in myself. is it true, that actions speak louder than words? like, you can tell that a person is attracted to someone just by the look they give. and its not the typical kind of look. its "that look". the look you give when the person you are in love with is right in front of you. that alluring stare, the teasing gaze.and when you look at that person, you feel like your heart is beating fast, and its as if this world revolves around you and that person only. and when that person stares back at you, its electrifying. and you feel like your cheeks heated up, you want to stop staring at that person but you just can't. because you know if you have the chance, you just want to stare at that person for the rest of your life.
i love the idea of two people just meant to be together. being together, sharing secrets only the two of you knows. inside jokes that only you and him would understand. that sad and lonely feeling you have when that person is not around you. like, you need him to be there to feel alive. isn't it amazing, how an ordinary person can change you? if not, for the better. and you know that person belongs to you. not to anyone else, just you.
you have been waiting for that person to complete your life for so long, that it seems impossible. then, when you finally found that person you don't know how to feel. sometimes, you hide your feelings just so that people wouldn't think you have lost your mind. but the more you hide, the more transparent the feelings show. you blush and smile just by the thought of that person. is it possible to even feel this way? its different from the feeling you get being around other people. doesn't matter if other people are more attractive, smart, wealthy and outstanding than that person because to you, the person you love is always better in every aspect. because when your'e in love, everything else pales in comparison.
sometimes, your'e confused whether this is love or not. because maybe you only love this person as a friend, but why is it that you get jealous of seeing that person being close to someone else? why do you miss him, and crave for him to be by your side and even by seeing him for a second, that is enough to satisfy you? why do you feel like crying every time that person leaves?
sometimes, the person you want to be with is not meant to be with you, no matter how much you love him. because that is life. you are meant to feel broken, lost and lonely. you are taught to cry when you feel miserable. because you can't always get what you want. sometimes, its for the best. it hurts. i know it does. but you just can't shake the feeling that maybe one day, you will see that person again and he is still single and lonely because you are the one for him after all, or you will see him again one day with a smile on his face with someone by his side. that person is not you. and you need to accept it. no matter what.