Nobody say it was going to be easy.
But that is the hardest part; accepting something that you know is the truth, and hoping that its wrong.
I don't think the treacherous road in my life is that much of a burden, but sometimes i feel like i couldn't stand it any more.
What is pain, when pain isn't recognised any more.
When love is not presence, and you make me believe that love is not real.
I fought, i bleed and i cried. but what do i get in return?
I am not asking much. just a simple appreciation.
When friendship bloomed into the most magnificent flower, and wither into dark grey.
Just because its misunderstood.
When we are not the main idea in the mind;
I question every bits and pieces of things in life that i don't understand.
But no precise explanation is given.
When i moan in utter pain, and the pain never seems to go away.
Fear slowly starts to creep in my mind.
But there is nothing i can do other than praying.
Trying to find calmness and peace.
When you are constantly undermining my talent.
It seems like i don't care; but in the inside, my heart is hurting. and crying.
When i am forgotten, and not forgiven.
When i hug my pillow during the night; because i feel lonely.
When i have so many friends, but it feels like the only friend i have is myself.
When i miss him, and i there is nothing i can do but to divert my attention to something else.
When i care too much, and they push me down to the ground in return.
When i realise that my presence in this world is just a burden for others.
When their hateful words kill me slowly in the inside.
When i listen to music too much, because its the only thing that can move me.
When the slightest problem comes to my life, i become panic and concern. and it never stops.
Ya Allah, i am not asking you to remove the hardships in my life; but instead, to give me the strength to go through it all.
Amin.